How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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