ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
