saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
