found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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