yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
