my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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