I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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