I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
