Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
