So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
