Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
