Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
