I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
