Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
