that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
