do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
bring money and cleavage
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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