dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
