I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
