thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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