Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was CRYING into my vagina
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
