Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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