I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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