He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Someone signed my nipple.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
