she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
