so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
