what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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