just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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