Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
3 2 1 whiskey
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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