I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
