I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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