Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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