Buhtt sex?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just want nice things and good sex
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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