wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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