i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
