listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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