they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
