Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
