Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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