Im at strip club and am horny
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
