Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize