How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i've created a new STD.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
