If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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