I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
