I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
