I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
