You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
