You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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