And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He passed out mid-signature
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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