On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
