just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
