i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
