Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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