Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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