I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He shit in the fireplace
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