I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
