I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
