I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
not ubering you a puppy
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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