Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
