biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
