So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Alive.
So much puke
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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