check it out our google latitudes are spooning
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
